Survival guide to the UK

 Looking like a tourist can cost you money and pride.

Looking like a local can open you up to even greater harassment.

Read our survivor's guide, split the difference and come away with your upper lip intact.

1. Getting around

Travel around the UK is relatively simple.

Yes, they drive on the left, but don't be daunted. Most roads are so narrow that it doesn't make any difference which side you're on.

Be prepared when driving distances of more than 20 miles.

These can be epic undertakings on Britain's congested highways, but the misery of gridlocked traffic will be more than compensated for by road signs pointing to places with names like Ramsbottom, Throcking and Goole.

Britain has an extensive and efficient rail network, which only ever grinds to a halt when the weather turns hot, cold, wet or dry.

Tickets are expensive but you can find cheap fares by booking eight or nine years in advance of travel.

Try: The Night Riviera sleeper train from London to Penzance then a drive or hike around the spectacular Cornish Coast.

More: 10 of London's oldest, greatest pubs

2. Climate

There are warm days in the UK, but you know you're in a damp country when the merest hint of sunshine is front page news.

Britain has four seasons, and while the transitions between them can be pleasant, each is typically as wet, gray and cold as the last.

All are considered by Brits to be "ice cream weather."

Whatever the climate throws at you, be prepared for endless conversations about it.

These needn't be dull since, like Eskimos with snow, Brits have a impressive lexicon for rain.

If you hear the word "mizzle," it probably means a light shower. Or maybe a low quality Snoop Dogg track.